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Sex Tips from the Tantra

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Bored of all the standard in out, in out, tab A into slot B sex that you’ve been having lately? Well first of all, similar to the way people felt during the recession, you should be grateful for what you’ve got! If any woman is letting you put your disco stick anywhere near her hot pocket, you should be thanking the universe before and after your pants come off. That being said, unless a little spice is added from time to time, sex can get boring. And apparently when it comes to which countries are having the most sex, Canada and the U.S. aren’t even in the top 10, making us more sexually boring than countries like Poland, and Mexico. C’mon people, Poland?!

I blame the fact that North America is still a young continent when compared to the rest of the world, so we’re still trying to figure things out. Despite what you might find on YouPorn, slapping a girl in the face with your meat hammer while firing your gooey tadpoles up her nose is not the path to sexual enlightenment. There are things we can learn from ancient civilizations in places like India, Asia, and apparently Poland. The following are just a few tips we can learn to enhance our sex lives, to increase the intensity of our orgasms, and how to crank our partner’s pleasure meters up to an 11.

Tantra

Born in India over 6,000 years ago and spread throughout East and Southeast Asia, Tantra’s purpose is to “achieve complete control of oneself, and of all the forces of nature, in order to attain union with the cosmos and with the divine.” The word itself means “to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave”, and when taken in a sexual context Tantra can expand your consciousness while weaving the vast differences between men and women into a harmonious unit. It’s also a path towards killer orgasms.

-Tantric sex starts way before the two of you are naked in the laundry room sticking tongues down each others’ throats. It starts with sharing moments of intimacy on a regular basis. This can be as simple as listening to music together, reading poetry to each other, communicating your loves and desires with each other. Intimacy is not something that just happens between two people, it needs to be nurtured.

- In Tantra there is no defined beginning or end, just an endless circle of sexual harmonization, which before any physical contact is established, starts with the harmonization of breath. One method to achieve this is to sit cross-legged across from your partner, dressed or buck, and without touching or talking just stare into each others’ eyes while synchronizing your inhales and exhales. This will be super awkward at first, especially if you’re nude, but the more you do this the more comfortable you will become, and the closer you will feel with your partner. The goal is to sit there for 10 minutes.

- Foreplay is HUGE in Tantric land. This involves more than just kissing and licking and punching. It also and most importantly involves communicating. Sex moves that worked on your last partner won’t necessarily work on your present one. I once dated a girl who loved having her inner thigh bitten…hard! Thinking all women loved this, I tried it on my next girlfriend. She screamed and punched me right in my non-communicating head. Talk to each other. Where do you want to be kissed? Are your ears sensitive? Do you like thinks delicate and gentle or do you like a little blood? It takes about 20 minutes for a woman to achieve an orgasm, but most sexual encounters only last 10-15. This is extremely frustrating. A man’s orgasm sometimes happens before the pants even come off. This might sound counter intuitive, but take your mind off the orgasm, dudes especially. Just focus on pleasing your partner, giving yourselves a full hour or 2 to really explore each other. When “getting there” is not the focus, you’ll be surprised how many orgasms can happen in an afternoon.

- Keep building the tension slowly. Once the in/out in/out has started, men will often pop their weasel long before the woman is even close. But during foreplay and pressure building, a man can last extremely long, and will in turn develop stronger pubococcygeus muscles. Aside from being one of my least favourite words, the pubococcygeus muscle lines the pelvic floor and is responsible for controlling pee, and contracts during orgasm. It is this muscle that you can strengthen using Kegal exercises, which will help keep you from erupting like Mount Vesuvius.

Orgasm and ejaculation are not one and the same in Tantric sex. If you want to learn the mysterious ways of how to have an orgasm without the mess, you can read this article.

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